Confidence Built on Applause is Fragile

When I wrote the Empowering Students Resolution a year ago in response to the Every Student Belongs resolution that failed at the NJUHSD Board Meeting, my goal was not to create another symbolic statement. My goal was to affirm a philosophy: students are strongest when they are taught that their value does not come from labels, excuses, or outside validation, but from character, effort, responsibility, and growth. I wanted to pass this resolution because I believe schools should do more than protect students from harm. Schools should help students build the internal strength to face life with confidence, resilience, and self-respect. My purpose for writing this is not to undermine the will of the Board, I fully accept the outcome of this last Board meeting. This is to be read as a respectful dissenting opinion and explanation of the philosophy behind the resolution.  

One of the ideas that connects deeply with the empowerment philosophy is the idea that self-esteem is often misunderstood. Too often, people talk about self-esteem as if it is something that can simply be handed to a student through praise, comfort, or good intentions. But real self-esteem does not come from being told you are valuable over and over again. It comes from becoming the kind of person who can trust themself. It comes from keeping commitments, doing hard things, overcoming setbacks, and seeing proof in your own life that you are capable.

Students today are growing up in a culture that often tells them their identity is shaped primarily by outside forces. While life circumstances, hardship, and unfairness are real, that cannot be the final message we give young people. If we teach students to see themselves mainly through limitations, then we weaken the very thing they need most in order to thrive: agency. We should be reminding them that they are not powerless, not trapped, and not defined by the expectations or assumptions of others. They are individuals with the capacity to think, act, improve, and rise.

To me, empowerment means teaching students that their choices matter. Their work matters. Their discipline matters. Their attitude matters. Empowerment is not empty encouragement. It is not lowering standards to make students feel better in the short term. It is helping students build the habits and mindset that create lasting confidence. Confidence built on applause is fragile. Confidence built on evidence is durable. When a student studies hard, treats others with respect, shows up prepared, and learns to persevere through difficulty, that student begins to develop genuine self-respect. That kind of self-esteem does not disappear the moment life gets hard.

I also wanted this resolution to emphasize belonging in the right way. Every student should absolutely feel safe, respected, and welcome at school. But belonging should not mean dividing students into categories or encouraging them to see themselves primarily as members of competing groups. Belonging should mean that each student is invited into a school culture that says: you matter, you are capable, and you are expected to grow.

That approach is both compassionate and challenging. It refuses to insult students with low expectations. It tells the truth that life will be difficult at times, but that difficulty is not proof of defeat. In fact, struggle is often the very process through which character is formed. Students do not become strong by avoiding all hardship. They become strong by learning how to meet hardship with courage, discipline, and support.

That is another reason I wanted to pass this resolution. I believe schools should be places that form character, not just deliver information. Academic success matters, but education is also about preparing young people for adulthood. In adult life, self-esteem will not come from slogans. It will come from reliability, competence, honesty, and perseverance. If students learn early that fulfillment comes from becoming someone who shows up, follows through, and keeps improving, then we will have given them something far more valuable than temporary reassurance.

At its heart, the Empowering Students Resolution was about hope rooted in truth. It is about rejecting the idea that students are fragile beings who must be defined by circumstance. Instead, it affirms that students are developing young men and women with immense potential, and that one of the greatest gifts a school can give them is the belief that they can build a meaningful life through effort, character, and personal responsibility.

I believe the most powerful thing we can teach students is not merely that they are seen, but that they are capable.